Flick (The Black Sentinels MC Book 4) Page 6

“Sorry?”

  “Brothers. Family. Not friends.”

  “Exactly and that makes it so much worse.”

  “You fucked up, forget it. Move on,” I gentled my voice.

  “That’s not how the world works!”

  “That’s exactly how my world works.”

  “Women don’t forget that kind of thing.” One thing that hadn’t changed was that Flick could be frustrating. Irritatingly so.

  “In case you missed it, your shit’s at my place. You’re about to sleep at my place. Those kids are out there, safe, loved and loved by more than just me. In my world, that’s exactly how shit works.”

  Flick looked at me, trying to figure out whether there was some deception involved in my words. “I’m going to need to apologize.”

  “That’ll be an event, I’ll mark it for posterity.”

  “Don’t be a dick, Beckett.”

  “Shadow.”

  “Sorry?”

  “Shadow. That’s who I am now, that’s who the brothers get, that’s who you get. Beckett Hope died a long time ago.”

  Flick looked at me puzzled, “I don’t get it.”

  “Question time is done. This is done.”

  “So, you’ll take me and the kids home?”

  “Fuck. No. I got hours of watching you be uncomfortable; it could be considered a national pastime.”

  “Asshole.”

  “True.” I put my hand over my heart and fluttered my eyelids, making puppy dog eyes. “But you defended my honor.”

  “Correction. You’re an utter fucking asshole.” Flick turned and stomped off, while I stayed put for a minute.

  Her attitude and fearless devotion were inspiring, and if I waited for just a minute, maybe the swelling of my cock might recede enough so I could fool her and everyone else into thinking I didn’t care. In truth, I wasn’t sure I did, but for the first time my blood was pumping through my body for something other than war and the thrill of the kill, and that had to count for something, right?

  Back at the house, I got the kids settled in bed, something I never thought I’d ever be doing at any point in my life. Ben seemed fairly easy, he had his Gameboy, or whatever the fuck it was called these days, and seemed to be content just because he was in a bed. Lila was slightly more challenging; she was still hyper from the club party. It was hard to believe she’d… Fuck, we’d lost Tracey, but if this little girl could bounce back, then we all could. I said goodnight and left Flick reading Lila a fairy story—and they looked as cute as fuck, Flick laid down next to a freshly bathed kid, cuddling a unicorn teddy like she wanted to fuse with it.

  Climbing into my shower—of course I kept the en-suite, I wasn’t moving it was my house after all—I let the water wash over me and the day drain away. From the moment the three of them had landed at my door, I didn’t once allow a dark or deadly thought to take hold. They’d been the best fucking distraction ever. Flick’s feistiness, her need to protect me and the kids had made me smile huge, and right now it caused my dick to grow. I palmed the beast in my hand and squeezed. Images of her when we were teenagers floated through my skull, she was pretty and trusting—I’d never gotten such a thrill from a simple boob grope as I did back then. Then I flashed forward to now, her all dressed up like a school ma’am at the funeral; it was completely wrong, but she looked hot as fuck. I squeezed and rubbed my shaft as the water pounded my back, and it wasn’t long before I grunted and nutted all over myself. If things carried on like this, I’d need to spend more time in my room at the club—fucking girls there, it always was the best way to relieve tension and I had a feeling there’d be a lot of it with her and me under the same roof.

  I toweled off and fell on my bed. I was about fall asleep when I remembered there were kids in the house now and it was probably a bad idea to sleep buck naked. I could react and protect myself with my dick swinging no problem, but it was probably wrong to do that with a little girl living under my roof. I scoured my drawers, finally locating the only pair of drawstring sleep pants I owned and then switched off the lights.

  Within half an hour, I was back there.

  Back in that hell hole with the smell of oil and gunpowder seeping into my nostrils, choking me. The constant ratatatat of gun fire reverberating through my brain. The endless sound of far-away explosions, women crying and babies screaming. The dreaded call to prayers.

  I breathed deep, would there never be any escape, any respite?

  I squeezed my eyes tight, like that would shut down the visual of a man on his knees begging for his life that flashed before me. Closely followed by the glint of a blade and then my own hand guiding that blade until it sliced across a fleshy neck.

  The warm feel of blood gushing.

  So much blood.

  The smell of it, so pungent you could taste every coppery molecule of it.

  “Fuck.”

  I shot bolt upright, my shaky hands rubbing just my face, then across my scalp. The sweat dribbled down my brow, my back, fuck, even my chest. My hand shot out as I grappled with the lamp on the nightstand, only breathing when it clicked on, drowning the room in light.

  I was here, not there.

  I was safe.

  I wasn’t being hunted down.

  I wasn’t killing anyone.

  I slumped back down to the sheets and willed my pulse to slow, listening to the sound of the house, recognizing that it sounded the same even though there were three other people in it. Under my roof, all of them safe.

  But in this room, behind this door, when the lights went out, it was just me and my nightmares, my fucked up past and all I’d done under the guise of stars and stripes. Under the secret command of the presidential advisors and the President himself.

  Flick

  “Don’t you have a job to go to?”

  Beckett appeared while I was making the kids breakfast and he looked like he’d been to an all-night rave. The black rings under his eyes rivaled something from an emo teenager experimenting with eye liner.

  “Start when I want, finish when I want.”

  “Cushy,” I snipped back, partly because he was grumpy, but mostly because I’d had to give up my job. I loved my job, but the commute would have been close to impossible.

  He slammed his mug on the countertop next to me, making me jump. “There ever a time you have your inner bitch under control? Take note, keep a tight grip on her until I’ve had caffeine.”

  “Unca Beckett said a naughty word,” came the angelic voice, and with the mood he was in right now, I feared she wouldn’t make it out of this conversation alive.

  “Fuck.” It was meant to be a form of self-chastising mumble, but clearly it was louder than he intended. Lila gasped and Ben chuckled.

  “Naughty Uncle Beckett, I think we need a swear jar, kids.”

  “Not happening,” he countered.

  “Then get of grip of your potty mouth.” I took a bite of my toast; bread was all he had in so the kids were also eating toast. His kitchen cupboards and fridge could feature in a student accommodation photo shoot. Beer, bread, butter, and jelly.

  He spotted this. “I’ll hit a store later.” Beckett searched for a travel mug and filled that with more coffee.

  “No trouble, we’ll do it, then we’ll check out schools.”

  “Schools?” he looked puzzled.

  “Yes, Beckett, kids need schools, kitchens need food, and bored women who’ve uprooted their lives also need to find employment before they run out of money and become irritating, stay-at-home grouchies.”

  “More irritating,” he muttered under his breath.

  “Were you abducted by aliens between now and last night?”

  I saw his shoulders square up. “No.”

  “Well then who stole your usual sunny disposition, or is two days in a row too big an ask?”

  Beckett laughed—I could tell it was either that or strangle me—pulled out his wallet and threw a credit card on the table. “Get whatever the kids like and hook them up
with school supplies too.”

  “I’ve got it, don’t need your card.”

  “For the love of God,” he muttered and then looked at me. “While they’re under my roof, I’ll provide for them.” I heard Ben inhale sharply, Beckett, however, didn’t notice. Looks like I was going to have to have a chat with him, explain the ins and outs of little people and how they took things very literally. Now, however, didn’t seem like a good time, whatever had happened during the twilight hours had put him in one hell of a grump.

  “Beckett, can we—”

  “Take the fucking plastic, Felicity.” We all froze at his gruff tone, even Lila recognized he’d used a really bad word and Ben seemed a little scared.

  “Don’t swear in front of the kids,” I whisper-shouted, praying that he didn’t want to get into it right here, right now, because my inner bitch was limbering up and getting ready to roll with his vibe.

  Beckett looked at the table and realized the huge lapse in his newfound guardian status. “Sorry, kids.”

  “Didn’t you get enough sleep, Unca Beckett?”

  “Lila, honey, don’t talk with your mouth full,” I chipped in.

  “No, beautiful, I didn’t.” His voice was kinder, his demeanor thawing.

  “Didn’t your bedtime story make you sleepy?”

  Beckett fully relaxed for the first time since he’d walked into the kitchen, her innocence working its magic on him.

  “Guess not.”

  “Maybe Aunty Flick should read it to you, she puts on all the voices and tells ‘em really good.” I smiled at her praise.

  “Tell you what, you get really good at school and learn how to read them, and you can read my bedtime stories.”

  Lila went wide eyed and wide mouthed, so much so, that her recently chewed mouthful of toast fell from her mouth. “Really?”

  Beckett stepped back to her and kissed the top of her head, causing my heart to clutch. “Sure, kiddo,” he turned to face her brother. “Look after your sister and Aunt, Ben, you’re in charge; man of the house.”

  Ben puffed his chest out. He’d never really been around a man like Beckett before and was just itching for some male influence and a role model. If this thing with Beckett didn’t pan out, it could kill him ten times more than his sister.

  Beckett turned to face me. “Card. Take it. If I find out you haven’t, we’ve got problems.” He turned back to the kids. “Be back for dinner, so make sure Aunty Flick has cooked me a really nice meal.” He wandered off chuckling to himself.

  He knew what he was doing; he was poking the bear and this time it was my turn to curse. “Asshole.” However I was astute enough to do it under my breath.

  A few moments later we heard the rumble of Harley pipes bounce off the side of the house. The kids, unable to contain their excitement, clambered away from the breakfast table and ran to the window. I followed just in time to see him guide his motorcycle down the drive, kick it into gear and roar off up the street.

  “Wow!” That was Lila, still wide-eyed.

  “Cool!” Ben had finally joined the conversation, unable to hide his admiration any longer. I stayed silent. That asshole looked good on a bike and I’d felt the rumble and roar of it somewhere in my nether regions, which made him even more of an asshole, and me, that same deluded girl I used to be.

  Beckett Hope was still treating me with the same fucked up version of disdain as he’d always done.

  “Do you think Uncle Beckett will like chicken and veggies?” Lila’s faced turned to one of consternation as she stood beside me in the chilled section of the grocery market.

  Ben balked. My attempt to trick him into eating vegetables by using his apparently ‘cool’ uncle was floundering before it had even got out of the dock.

  “Fish sticks!” his sister screamed, moving her arms and her unicorn teddy to point in the direction of the frozen food aisle.

  “Can’t see him going for those, pretty princess, but we can get them for us.”

  “Yes!”

  We’d done the school thing and I’d got them registered at the local place. It wasn’t a big town, so luckily there was plenty of space. We’d agreed they’d start the day after tomorrow, and while Lila seemed excited, Ben, not so much. I kind of felt for him, but they needed normality and I needed to get a job. I could work in any legal office, or file papers as an office manager, anywhere. I didn’t care, but I had to do something and that meant taking care of the kids too. They needed all the stability they could get and until Beckett scratched his apparent responsibility itch, we’d need to see this through, and I was determined to do exactly the same.

  “Pizza?” Ben suggested, dragging me further into grocery shopping hell. I hated it at the best of times but trying to shop for someone you barely knew was torture.

  “Yeah, I can make some healthy pizzas.” Ben balked again. “You can choose the toppings, okay?” Finally, he seemed appeased.

  Despite my best efforts to convince Lila that skittles and strawberry laces did not make the best pizza topping, I agreed to buying them some candy as a reward for being good kids. As the three of us chose, ham, sweetcorn, and salami, someone tapped me on the shoulder. “I thought that was you.”

  I willed my cheeks not to flush with embarrassment, but from the smile on Gigi’s face I’d say my effort was wasted. “Hi.”

  “Come on, don’t be like that, I made some pretty snap judgments too when I first laid eyes on a motorcycle.”

  “I think I owe Malia a huge apology, if only I could offer to do her homework for a month.” I tried hard to joke.

  Gigi nodded. “It’d be a good idea, she’s a big part of Shadow’s world.”

  A flash or irritation lanced through me. “How so?”

  “It’s not my place to say,” she replied gently, expecting the disappointment I couldn’t hide. “Not like that,” she countered and laughed. “She had a drama thing, Shadow helped, and they become friends.”

  “Oh God, now I feel even more stupid.”

  Gigi bent down to placate a niggly child in her cart. “I’m not explaining myself very well. Shadow is the most private of all the brothers, the only one close to breaking through is Malia, even her old man, Wave, knows to keep his distance.”

  “She came to the funeral with him and I just assumed… wrongly.”

  “We’ve all done it, why don’t you pop by and see her? She works at the center.”

  “Center?”

  Gigi’s expression turned gentle. “A lot of us came together through circumstances we’d rather forget; Malia runs a center for others like us. You know, less fortunate, in need of a helping hand—” she swallowed, “—abused.”

  I was floored. This was something very emotional for her.

  “The Black Sentinels acquired the land and buildings and we voted on what to do with it.”

  She rattled off an address and said goodbye, leaving me with a cart full of groceries, two kids, and a slightly jealous feeling because Malia had a connection with Beckett that I’d never had or was likely to have. Not only did she have a place in his heart, he was Shadow to her, she was saintly too. Add all of that to a big fat dollop of regrettable misunderstanding and it seemed maybe, I had misjudged the brothers of the Black Sentinels MC and their old ladies.

  “Kiddos, fancy a pit stop on the way home?”

  Lila chorused, “Yes!” Of course, her life was one long blissful party of fairy dust and glitter, while Ben looked less than amused, whatever pit stop we made extended the time away from his video games.

  I pulled the car to a stop outside the understated and simple warehouse building, and in turn unleashed the kids from it. Shepherding them inside, we all jumped a mile when the doorbell clanged above our head to sound our arrival.

  “Whatever happens, whatever trouble you’re running from, you’re safe now.” An older lady dressed like she’d got the location of her bridge game confused, approached me cautiously from a door behind an empty desk.

  “Sorry?
”

  “You’re safe now, your beautiful children have nothing to fear.”

  “No, I, uh, I think there’s been a misunderstanding,” I tried to interrupt her, but she’d got her arms out wide, like she was trying to tame a wild animal.

  “I’ll just get Malia. Would you like a room? Fresh clothes? Are you hungry?” The immaculately dressed woman bombarded me with questions as I tried to stop her.

  “I’ve got a unicorn!” Lila shouted, shoving the teddy towards her.

  “Oh my.” The woman sniffed. “So precious.”

  “Geraldine, what the—” Malia appeared.

  “Ah, here she is. You’re safe, your children are safe, extra safe.”

  This was just bizarre.

  Malia put her hand on the woman’s shoulder, “Geraldine, this is Flick and these two adorable kids are with Shadow.”

  I noticed how she didn’t say we were all with Shadow.

  “Oh my, I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” The woman looked mortified.

  “Flick, this is Gears and Gigi’s mom, she helps out.”

  I stuck my hand out. “Nice to meet you.”

  “I just get carried away trying to be positive and helpful. I didn’t mean to imply you looked needy—”

  “Geraldine,” Malia sighed.

  “Or abused.”

  “For the love of God!” Malia looked to the heavens. “Kids, would you like a popsicle? How about you go with Gran Geary, while I talk boring stuff with your aunt?”

  Lila dropped my hand like she’d been electrocuted and hit Geraldine at speed, nearly taking her off her feet. Ben, as usual, followed, feigning indifference but definitely up for a popsicle.

  “Sorry about that, she’s usually behind the scenes and means well, but let’s just say it’s not always the people we help who cause the most drama around here.”

  I laughed, hoping to ease my way into this.

  “Unless you do need help, you’re not seeking refuge already, are you?” Malia attempted to laugh, but it was tinged with a hint of uncertainty.

  “No. Hardly seen him, we may as well be lodging in a frat house.”

  She looked a little shocked by that. “If you want my opinion—”