Fated Love (The Soul Sisters Series Book 3) Page 14

  “My word, that’s impressive, I’ve never seen such art and skill, I think I need to learn how to draw like this. Is this handsome boy you? No it can’t be, Joe isn’t with you.”

  “It’s me, it’s me!” he shouts, “But Joe was naughty that day so he wasn’t allowed to visit the park with me.” This boy is good, he’s smiling because he knows I’m impressed with his quick thinking skills.

  “I see, Joe will have to learn to behave or he’ll miss out on all the fun.”

  “Are you staying for tea?”

  “I was thinking about it, yes, I was also wondering whether to get a room at the hotel down the road, so I could come by and get to know you a little better,” I wait nervously, trying to figure out how he’s taking my idea.

  “And Joe?”

  “Absolutely, is that OK?”

  “Yeah, but I have to go to Kindergarten in the day, I’m not supposed to take Joe, could he stay here with you. He gets sad if I leave him in my back pack all day.”

  “Deal,” I confirm and offer him my hand to formally shake on it. “Mind you, he has to help me out with any jobs around the house, I’m going to give your gran a hand.”

  “He can do that, he’s strong. He’s a soldier.”

  “OK young man, go wash up and you can have some milk and cookies,” Annie suggests. With no more ado, I’m dropped like a hot potato and he rushes off like a Tasmanian devil, lured by the promise of homemade goodies. Twenty minutes later and both of us are sporting matching milk moustaches and are covered in cookie crumbs, I haven’t felt this carefree for ages. Across the table I’m looking at someone who can teach me to take each day as it is and though we’ve both lost our parents, we can learn to build our lives together and find some joy or happiness in the simple things. Yeah, this is the best decision I’ve made in a while, because this mini vacation is going to be awesome.

  *****

  Oli

  “Fuck Flo, she’s been gone for two weeks. Why haven’t we heard from her?” I was going out of my sodding mind.

  I’d come so close in that parking lot to telling Lottie what I really wanted, she must have sensed the things I was trying to say. Yet, she still packed up quicker than a criminal on the run and took off, was she that unsure about me? Or were the things I was trying to say that hard to believe?

  “We have heard from her, she’s fine. She’s enjoying some self-discovery, getting to know her brother and getting to grips with all the bullshit her life turned out to be.”

  “Oh nice, real fucking nice Flo, now I’m bullshit?”

  “You know what she means,” Sonny snaps, “and if you take it any other way it’s because your own guilt is kicking in and taking over.”

  We were having a BBQ at Chris and Neely’s ranch, I was feeling a bit lost not seeing Lottie around town as it was, but being out in the group without her was seriously fucking with my head. “Sorry Flo, I didn’t mean that.”

  “Apology accepted big guy.”

  “What do I do? Go see her or stay away?”

  “Depends on what you’d do if you went to see her,” Flo enquires.

  “I just want her to know I’m… Fuck!” I’m a mess. Sonny starts laughing and it embeds my bad mood even more, Flo gives him a stern look and then leaves us to it.

  “I bet you’re wishing you’d had your head out of your ass sometime ago about now huh?”

  “I told you so, that’s the best you can come up with?”

  “Do I look like I’ve grown a pussy since the last time we tried to have a heart to heart? You want advice, I suggest trying the other guys. The ones who spend time with the same vagina on a regular basis,” he tells me.

  I get up and leave Sonny as he requests, heading over to the others, “I’m gonna fucking ask this once, what should I do? Leave Lottie alone or go to her?” My sentence is rushed and I’m fucking embarrassed that I’ve made this some group therapy session.

  “I vote he stays,” says Chris, “unless you have a master plan, you’re just gonna rock up and piss her off.”

  “I reckon he should go. Sitting here isn’t working for him. Ladies?” Jonas says, throwing the debate open to Dolly and Neely.

  “I say he should go, lay his feelings out and make a grand gesture,” votes Neely.

  “What sort of gesture?”

  “One that she can trust, one that doesn’t include you turning up delivering bad news for a change,” she tells me.

  “Very fucking hilarious.”

  “I think you need to stay away.” Dolly’s words and delivery catch my immediate attention.

  “Why?”

  “I just think you should leave her alone and let her move on.”

  “Give me a good reason why. I thought all you women wanted displays of manliness and affection?”

  “I didn’t say that we didn’t, but… just leave her.” Dolly looks away sheepishly and averts my gaze, it sets me on edge. What’s going on?

  “Baby,” Jonas says, “What do you know?”

  “Shit. She asked me not to say anything, but she’s… she’s moved on. She’s making a go of things with that Rick.”

  Bright lights start to flash in my head as the shock that I’ve fucked it up and missed my chance registers. The rage I’m feeling is like fire licking at my insides, churning from the pit of my stomach, torching my heart and setting it ablaze like an inferno. My fists are clenched so tight, my finger bones are on the verge of snapping. “You had better be fucking joking. It’s been a couple of weeks. Two fucking weeks,” I snarl through my teeth at her.

  “Well I guess we know how you really feel about her. Yeah. You should definitely go and get her,” she laughs all triumphantly.

  “Motherfucker.”

  “Lesson learned stud, these sisters will out play you and out wrangle you. Anything other than bringing out you’re A game and you’re fucked, I’m actually jealous that you learned this without having to be in a relationship with one of them,” Jonas tells me laughing, while raising a toast to his wife with his beer bottle.

  I shake my head in amazement, I’ve just been totally owned by a clever girl who loves Lottie. “Time for me to go and pack a bag then.”

  “She’s staying with Annie if that helps,” I hear from Neely as I leave Chris’s yard.

  A few hours later as I’m parking my truck across the street from Annie’s building, I see Lottie coming from the other end of the street. She’s carrying some boxes and leading a whole gang of kids who are carrying bats, balls and other various play things. Annie is following up behind them dragging a couple of picnic baskets on a trolley.

  Lottie is covered in dirt and has on sports shorts, converse low riders and a T shirt, her hair is all haphazard and she’s laughing. Fuck, she’s never looked more beautiful. Carefree, selfless and living the type of life I never thought would be possible for her. In a real moment of panic I grab my phone and dial Flo’s number, “Shit. She looks happy.”

  “And…”

  “Content and fucking happy.”

  “What? Haven’t you talked to her yet?”

  “I’m thinking, maybe this should be that grand gesture, let her live her life.”

  “Oli, man up!” she screams down the phone.

  “Shit, I don’t know. Hang on let me call you back, Jonas is on the other line.” I end that call and answer Jonas’, “What’s up?”

  “Man, I’m sorry to have to do this. The Sheriff called, he’s looking for Lottie and she’s not returning his calls.”

  “So what?”

  “They’ve got the initial reports back from the crash investigation. It looks like the brakes malfunctioned.”

  “That does not sound good.”

  “It’s not. Fuck, they saying it might not have been an accident. The damage to the car’s brake system may have been deliberate, like someone had nicked them so they would fail. They’re going to open an investigation.”

  “Fuck! I blame Neely for this shit, she tempted fucking fate,” just for
once, I’d like to pay a surprise visit to Lottie without delivering a hammer blow, because I’m pretty sure this is not considered any kind of grand gesture. At least not one somebody would want.

  Fuck.

  Chapter Eighteen

  The time I am spending at Sunnyside has been amazing. Just simply, amazing. I feel like I’ve been transported to another planet. People who have everything become so engrossed in having it all and keeping it all, that they turn into distrustful, hate filled liars. Almost like people with alter egos, living secondary lives.

  Remind you of anyone familiar?

  My family, Oli and definitely me.

  But here I’ve been accepted. I’ve got no background for them to deal with, no reputation to uphold and no preconceived ideas or standards to conform to. They are children and young adults who’ve come from an already low place and they take the gift of acceptance for the gem of human nature that it is.

  Annie has restored my faith in mankind and its generosity and I really don’t know how to thank her. Her forced interruption in my life saved me from becoming a person I would have struggled to stop being, it’s that simple.

  I go to sleep three doors away from my brother in a single bed with a lumpy mattress and laundered donated bed sheets, with a huge smile on my face, every night.

  Without fail.

  My last thoughts are usually spent reflecting on the day I’ve had, how I made the kids laugh, helping them with their reading or homework. I’ve helped cook food, build dens out of blankets and cushions and it’s so simple and very powerful. It’s a gift I’ve been able to give freely and see an immediate return on my investment. I’ve underestimated my capacity to see through the dark times and survive, finally finding hope in the most basic of human traits, kindness.

  Thank fuck for Annie.

  This woman has lost her daughter, been left to raise a little boy, takes on strays and castaways and never complains. When I grow up, I really do want to be her. I am truly worried about how I’m supposed to leave here and take up my expected place in Hawkstown. I’m considering staying here for good and saying anything else would be a lie because life here would be so much simpler. Almost the, A + B = C, kind of simple.

  “Lottie sweetheart, visitor,” Annie calls with a knock at my door. I’m fresh out of the shower because my muddy elbows and knees from playing hide and seek at the park would have been a health risk in the kitchen otherwise. I swing open the door with wet hair wrapped in a towel turban and am greeted with a mischievous looking Annie and a very handsome Oli.

  God, he’s still lush. Even though I’ve not seen Oli, the time apart hasn’t diminished the beauty my imagination conjures up when I hear his name. I may have drifted off to sleep thinking about my daily good deeds, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say I’ve replayed our car sex session over in my mind during the lonely hours of the night.

  My blush matches the pink towel on my head which makes him smile more and Annie fuss. “Well, let him in, you must have things to catch up on. I’ve asked young Oliver to stay for dinner with us and the children. I’ll call you when it’s time to wash up.” She beats a hasty retreat and still, neither Oli nor I have actually spoken.

  “Are you going to invite me in?” he asks.

  “Yes,” I croak back, wondering why my mouth is dry, it wasn’t ten minutes ago and I know that no matter how far apart we are, Oli will always have this effect on me, our history makes that a way of life for us. “Come in, excuse the mess, I’ve just stepped out of the shower. Kids are really messy, who knew?”

  “I’d like to say I do, but I really don’t. I only really see Jonas’s little bugs and they’re becoming more like trained assassins every day.”

  “True, those mini ninjas would give this bunch a real run for their money.” As I finish speaking, Oli wanders over to the window and looks out over the street. He looks nervous or lost, maybe even both. His huge body is rapidly swallowing up the free space and oxygen in the room and I feel like a cat on a hot tin roof. “Why are you here?”

  “Honestly, I have no fucking idea.”

  “Um…” I begin, I’m not bothering to hide how that confuses me.

  “I missed you. I mean, I miss you. I… I don’t know.”

  “How can you miss what you’ve never had, well never really had?”

  Oli spins round to face me, he’s not happy with my choice of words. His frame blocks the window and I can only really see his outline against the sun in the sky. “That’s just the thing, I have had you. That’s what I miss.”

  I can’t believe he just said that, “What the fuck? You’re here because you’ve had me, like sex had me? You want the sex?”

  “Christ, I don’t know what it is about you, but I can never get my words out right. I’m a grown ass guy who practically runs a small town, and yet you get me flustered and tongue tied… in more ways than one,” he finishes quietly. Oli’s looking at me in a way that leaves me under no illusion as to the double entendre he just gave me. “I see things are clicking into place with you Lottie. I’m trying not to complicate your life, but the uglier side of my personality, the one who gets what he wants, is not fucking happy with letting you have a life without me in it.”

  “I’m not sure how to answer the things you’re saying to me. Things have changed, I’ve changed.” I refuse to let hope flair in any part of my thinking. The new Lottie doesn’t know how to deal with hope and all of the fucked up fallout that comes with it.

  “I know you’ve changed,” he tells me leaning into me and grabbing an errant strand of wet hair plastered to my neck. The contact of his fingers on my skin causes my pulse to go haywire. I know if I look down, I’m fairly sure I’ll see my knees knocking together. “I feel like I’ve missed something all this time, like I’ve been the biggest asshole for not seeing you clearly. I want us to start again, I want you.”

  Shitting hell fire.

  I would have welcomed this speech, this declaration of desire at any point in my life over the last fifteen years, but now, uncertainty is the only feeling and emotion I recognize. “I’m… uncertain.”

  “Uncertain?”

  “Yes. Uncertain. I’m trying to be more honest.”

  “How can I remove that uncertainty?”

  “I really don’t know. This is all new territory for me, I feel like I’ve had my fill of shocks, heartache and drama and I’m trying to get my crazy ass world to stop spinning long enough so that I can take stock.” Oli’s eyes flash and he moves his glare to a spot on the floor. “What’s wrong? If you can’t deal with how I feel or what I need in my life right now, then the only thing left to say is goodbye.”

  “Fuck, no it’s not that,” he says on an exhale.

  Another knock comes at my door and before I open it this time I slip my bath robe on over my towel, tying the belt. “Lacey what can I do for?”

  “There is a Sheriff Roberts on the phone for you, he says he needs to talk to you.”

  “Really, OK. I’ll be right down.”

  “No she won’t Lacey, can you tell the Sheriff either I or Lottie will call him back shortly,” I hear from behind me. I’m about to turn around and blast him, but the look on his face is an uncomfortable one.

  “Why is the Sheriff calling me?” I ask tentatively. Oli then moves around me to dismiss Lacey, reaffirming his original instruction and then takes my hand before pulling me to sit beside him on the small bed. God, he is scrumptious, all man and hearing him issue orders and instructions reminds me of how I enjoyed his demanding tone of voice from our off road encounter.

  “Don’t look at me like that Lottie, not yet anyway,” he’s still got his serious face on, “Believe me when I say I came here for you, to get you back and win you over. Shit, I’m fucking this up.”

  “It’s not good is it?” I whisper.

  “No, sweetheart, not really. Jonas called on the way here, he said the sheriff was having trouble reaching you. Your mobile has been off. The crash investigation report has
been filed, it looks like it may not have been an accident baby. The damage to the brakes on your parents’ car could have been intentional, they’re now looking into it as a…. serious crime investigation.”

  I know I haven’t changed rooms, but all of sudden the one I’m in has become smaller and all wobbly, the walls are moving and swaying and I can hear thumping in my head. “Lottie, breathe. Come on baby breathe for me,” I hear Oli demand with an echo to his voice.

  The contents of my stomach starts to bubble and spit inside me, “Bathroom,” I gag out, diving in the direction of it, with Oli in hot pursuit behind me. A moment later and in a very unlady like manner, I’m on my knees puking over the toilet bowl. Oli has taken my hair out of the towel and handed it to me, whilst grabbing my damp mane in a bunch to stop it joining in my toilet party.

  “Christ, I’m so sorry. There was no easy way to say any of that shit. I hate that you’re going through this,” he tells me, stroking my back.

  “Could I have a minute please? I want to wash my face and brush my teeth.”

  “Sure, I’ll wait in your room.” Oli leaves me and I shuffle back against the wall next to the toilet. Why won’t this all just end? Everywhere I go shit seems to follow me, even here, whilst I am enjoying myself and having amazing fun being part of a family, something that I never thought would be possible again. I don’t know how to deal with this news, new Lottie doesn’t have years of fall back experience and coping skills with all this crap. A voice in my head speaks to me… face it, you can’t change it. Face it, deal with it and move the fuck on and with no other alternative, I take the advice and wash up. In the time I’ve been in the bathroom, Carter has come to find us for dinner. I loiter outside the door, listening to them engage in small talk, “We’ll be down for dinner shortly little dude, Lottie’s in the bathroom,” Oli tells him.